why do teenage boys go through that phase where they just imitate female moaning noises
it’s the only way they can hear it
this really cute customer came in today and i asked him how he was paying and he said ‘hasta la visa baby’ and then he blushed and cleared his throat and was like ‘um.. visa please’ and i kinda wanna marry him
do atheists say oh my god
yep. we say it any time we hear something that’s unbelievable.
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean
David Tennant with his wife
David Tennant without his wife
I’ve been laughing at this for three years
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”
when someone tells you their favorite candy, listen. write it down if you have to. remember it. when you know they’re having a shitty day, buy it for them. be the best human you can be; buy your friends their favorite candy when they really, really need it and don’t even know it.
Been playing with this concept for a while.
I love this. So much.
this should be posted everywhere
before you date a girl with a mental illness, remember: saying, “you’re beautiful” won’t balance the chemicals in her brain.
and don’t fucking say, “i’ll be here for you, no matter what,” if you don’t mean it.
don’t think you’re fixing her by saying, “i love you.” because you’re not
This needs more notes.
All of it, but mostly the bolded